My Zahir

Paulo Coelho said that a zahir is like an obsession. Well, there's a more complicated description for the word, but, I like simple things better. And, I think that the word 'zahir' sounds really cool, so I thought I could use it to refer to someone I've been kinda stalking for the past few days.

He's gorgeous. He's hot. He's handsome. He's everything a girl could ever wish for. And that's just an understatement. The funny thing is I've never seen him in person and I doubt that I ever will. In simple terms, he doesn't know I exist. And, no, he's not a celebrity or any famous figure in Hollywood. But he is rich - only by knowing his family name, I could already tell.

So how did I come to know of his existence? It was last summer. See, my cousin works for their company. In her computer, there's a photo of their family and she showed it to me. They were like models because they all looked beautiful. Never have I imagined of a family that charming. And HE happened to be a part of the family. Yes, he's my cousin's boss' son - totally out of my reach.

Since that day, I started to search for him on the web. But there were only a few results - most of them are from newspaper articles about the goals he made for his team during soccer games. That was a lead. I found out he was an athlete. A couple of my classmates played soccer too. They happened to have seen him play and said he looked even better in person. I was so envious of them. And for a second, I actually thought of learning soccer. How ridiculous!

I found it insane to fall for a guy because of one picture. So, I wanted to search for more pictures. To my dismay, there was only one. After hours of searching in google, I found a picture of him when he was judging some beauty pageant. Discontented, I searched for him from different sites like myspace, hi5, and friendster. He was not a member of any. I asked my cousin if HE had myspace, and she told me to try facebook.

I didn't have a facebook account. But, look at what 'love' can do. I signed up. I looked him up and...bingo! Found him. Sent a friend request. Didn't accept it. How rude! But it doesn't end there. I also added his sister. She sent me a message, asking if she knew me from somewhere. I played cool, said no and that I didn't know her either. I lied. But I thought it was better than confessing that I have a huge crush on her brother.

Months passed and I never typed in his name in any search engine. Come November and I searched for his school. Robert Louis Stevenson School '08 and Santa Clara '12 - those were the only information I could get from facebook since he wouldn't add me. Found them. And they're very wonderful schools. Another lead - he's really smart. I could tell because I looked up the admission tab in SCU and you'd really need high SAT scores to get admitted.

December came. It's Christmas break. I'm at home, and bored. Multiply came into my mind. I searched for him. There was no result. I searched for his younger sister. Luckily, she has an account. I think she's inactive already, though. There were loads of pictures of him - him with friends, him with family, and him kissing a girl (a different girl in a different album). For a minute in there, I wanted to break down and cry. I felt like my heart was being crushed. But let's face it, what could you expect from a teenage guy?

On one photo, his other sister posted a comment. I viewed her page and saw more pictures of him. At any angle, he was dreamy. I must say, he's way better than any fictional character. If I were to write a novel about love and turn it into a movie, he'd be the lead actor - if he says no, there'd be no movie.