Revelation

It's time to finally get over an obsession. I'm tired of fooling myself, thinking that fairytales can happen in real life because they can't. Everything has a place where it truly belongs. Story book endings and our world just don't seem to match - no matter what angle you try to look into.

Who is the zahir? Is he worth all the posts? all the time? all the stalking? Perhaps, he's not even close to being a prince. I don't know a thing about the guy though I was able to steal a photo of him from somewhere I prefer not to mention. Well, he's taken. My world and his don't match. We probably have nothing in common. It's time to let go and move on. I should start dreaming those things that are not very far from my grasp, don't you think?

Behold...

Jose Rafael "Rafa" Aboitiz

Recognize him? Maybe you do, maybe you don't. The zahir is a thing of the past - at least I know he must be. I have to grow up. 

So long!

Questions

For the past few days, this thought had been bothering me: "We all live to die..." No matter how I think of it, the sentence does make sense - that's why I'm currently disturbed. From that, many questions could arise. And, I'm afraid, I don't know yet of the right answers.

> Why were we all given the gift of life when it would just soon be taken away from us?
> Do we love to get hurt?
> Will we be remembered when we die?
> Will we die a few moments after we fulfill our mission in life? If so, would it be better, then, to not figure out the reason for our existence?

All these and more are confusing my little mind. I know it may seem pointless. But I write all my thoughts down. It's the only way I could be a little less stressed by this dilemma. I got a lot more important things to think of. May I be enlightened, somehow.

I know we'll all die. But, I don't want it to be too soon.

Welcome 2009

Happy New Year everyone!

2008 was a good year for me - primarily because I finished high school and that's an achievement. I wonder if this year's gonna be any better. Or, if I'm gonna be any better this year. You see, I make mistakes sometimes - well, that's a lie; all the time. Sometimes, life just confuses me and I end up following the wrong road.

I've always been intrigued by the so-called New Year's Resolution. During New Year's Eve, I always think of something about me that I want to change. And, I always end up with nothing - not because I think I'm perfectly comfortable with what I am, but because I just know that there's no way I could pull things off. It's hard to break a habit. What I've been doing all these years are a part of me. If I delete something, I would be another person - at least I think so.

So what does Scarlet really want to change? Simple. I want to grow up. I want to convince myself that I am a human being on earth. I've known that fact for the entirety of my existence. However, a part of me is still in denial. What do I have to do to wake myself up from its deep slumber in which it took the chance to wander around some mystical world?

Sometimes, being imaginative - and too positive that my imaginations would come true - becomes a part of my charm. It's like my signature. No one else I know does the imagining thing better than I do. A part of me wants that dimension of my personality to stay. But a part of me also wants to let go of it. The good thing about believing that dreams come true is that I am always hopeful, thus, I have a very good reason to live. On the flip side, it hurts me everytime a pigment of reality strikes (and that's just uncontrollable).

The dilemma continues. Here I go again. Is there something wrong with who I am? Is it alright to dream big? and hope your dreams would come true? Or is this just crap? And are you thinking right now that I just escaped from the psychiatric ward?

Answer me. Please.